Yes Ireland are grateful that the UK were the first country to offer a loan too stablised our currancy.. it was actually 10 years ago. . But it was a loan and it was at market rates and it was and is being paid back with interest. It needs also to be said that more money distruption would have affected British business, so it was also in the UK s interest. The other point is that it was the RBS introduction into the Irish market place of interest only mortgages which destabilised the market and helped overheat the economy.
Without wanting to recycle old postings, but the Irish border problem is not a simple one liner, and the comments from a substantial part of UK BREXIt supporters is so ignorant, that it defies discussion. If your wife is Irish then she should have some understanding of the complexities.
The food situation, the electricity market .and retail distribution are all done on a whole ireland basis. So the accommodation which will be needed post BREXIt. Is very substantial. Milk destined for Bailey's Cream or baby food might transit the border a number of times , between collection, pasteurization, processing and packaging. .. This was feasible while within the EU but becomes more difficult outside. .. who validates the plants?.
In regard to your last point its incredibly simple. We stick to EU laws of health and safety. Nothing changes. if something evolves that is better over time great. If not if its not broke don't fix it.
In reagrd to a people border then yes it does become more problematic. But not unsurmountable. One idea is the status quo remains and the hard border is on the England/Scotland/Wales side of the sea.
If Ireland wants unrestricted trade and the UK wants that what ultimately is the problem? The EU?