oh and 100% you must try one with a throttle first before you decide its not for you.
I rarely ride without throttle in traffic as like you have found the kick in/out of power can catch you out, throw you off balance, make you feel like you might lose control, or like the bike is driving you not the other way around.
With a throttle you can perfectly manage your speed from a crawl to go-baby-go which makes it much easier. That's if you are able to manage brakes, pedals, throttle, observation, hand signals all at once. I don't say that as discouraging just in my experience some are better at managing these rapidly changing variables than others and those that struggle will find a e-bike harder to ride than a normal one in that respect regardless of how good the bike is.
I rarely ride without throttle in traffic as like you have found the kick in/out of power can catch you out, throw you off balance, make you feel like you might lose control, or like the bike is driving you not the other way around.
With a throttle you can perfectly manage your speed from a crawl to go-baby-go which makes it much easier. That's if you are able to manage brakes, pedals, throttle, observation, hand signals all at once. I don't say that as discouraging just in my experience some are better at managing these rapidly changing variables than others and those that struggle will find a e-bike harder to ride than a normal one in that respect regardless of how good the bike is.