Brexit, for once some facts.

Wicky

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Feb 12, 2014
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www.jhepburn.co.uk
To be made into a movie starring Alan Partridge as Nigel Farage




IS there any nobler calling than grassing up refugees fleeing war zones? I think not. Here’s my guide to tirelessly standing guard over Britannia’s borders.

Find the right vantage point

You’ll need protection from the elements for long stints of coastal observation, so I’d suggest a pub. Ideally one with Spitfire on tap. Neck a couple of sharpeners to ensure you can spot the offenders, pop 40p in a seafront telescope and you’re away.

Get up early

Not to spot the invaders making a dawn crossing, but so you can be on breakfast news. They’ll still have me on GMTV, even though most of this immigration bullshit is my fault in the first place.

Be ready for rough stuff

Migrants aren’t like us and may react unpredictably when challenged by a former president of the Rotary Club, so make sure you’ve got the stomach for witnessing unpleasant scenes as the police take all the risks and you film it on your phone.

Hire a boat

A photo-op no TV crew will be able to resist, and you can pretend you’re Drake, Nelson or Captain Edward Smith. Obviously I’d like to be armed with cannons to sink the buggers, but I’d lose my £120 deposit on the sightseeing boat. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you health-and-safety Britain.

Use hysterical language

Even if all you’re doing is hanging around Dover making a nuisance of yourself while asylum seekers get processed, talk about ‘invasion’ and ‘national humiliation’. If terrified grannies can’t sleep for worrying about the Arabs taking over, you’ve done the right thing.

Don’t forget the other borders

I’m focusing on the Channel at the moment, but do we really want the Welsh and Scottish swarming across our land borders? I think you can guess my opinion.
 

Barry Shittpeas

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Jan 1, 2020
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It sounds like the Government, £10 off your trough, scheme isn’t working out too well. This is what one pub owner in Newquay had to say:

“People are ordering big, big meals; they are not willing to wait for their food; our staff are being shouted at and facing physical aggression for having no tables, or for the service being slow. It's put an awful lot of strain on our waiting staff and kitchen staff.”

Ordering, big, big meals :) I love that. Especially in a country full of fat bastards. I suppose they will be $hitting the big, big meal out into a burger box on Fistral Beach the following day. The state of society in this country is something to behold.
 
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oldgroaner

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Nov 15, 2015
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It sounds like the Government, £10 off your trough, scheme isn’t working out too well. This is what one pub owner in Newquay had to say:

“People are ordering big, big meals; they are not willing to wait for their food; our staff are being shouted at and facing physical aggression for having no tables, or for the service being slow. It's put an awful lot of strain on our waiting staff and kitchen staff.”

Ordering, big, big meals :) I love that. Especially in a country full of fat bastards. I suppose they will be $hitting the big, big meal out into a burger box on Fistral Beach the following day. They state of society in this country is something to behold.
And all because of a referendum
 

oyster

Esteemed Pedelecer
Nov 7, 2017
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West West Wales
The current government can't even agree amongst themselves.

A last-ditch attempt to prevent the UK government from endorsing TikTok’s plans to locate its headquarters in London is being mounted by China hawks who accuse the app’s parent company of cooperating with authorities in Xinjiang province.

Downing Street is keen encourage TikTok to move from Beijing to London but faces a rearguard action led by the trade secretary, Liz Truss, who is anxious about some of the demands being made by the business.
 
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oyster

Esteemed Pedelecer
Nov 7, 2017
10,422
14,609
West West Wales
It sounds like the Government, £10 off your trough, scheme isn’t working out too well. This is what one pub owner in Newquay had to say:

“People are ordering big, big meals; they are not willing to wait for their food; our staff are being shouted at and facing physical aggression for having no tables, or for the service being slow. It's put an awful lot of strain on our waiting staff and kitchen staff.”

Ordering, big, big meals :) I love that. Especially in a country full of fat bastards. I suppose they will be $hitting the big, big meal out into a burger box on Fistral Beach the following day. The state of society in this country is something to behold.
One of the few restaurants I'd really like to go to has decided not to take part because of that sort of issue.

Earlier, they opened for takeaways and had some very unpleasant experiences.

It has now started to be a nightmare on cheap as chips days at a large burger chain - people queuing round the roundabout in their cars waiting to get into the car park.
 
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oldgroaner

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Nov 15, 2015
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New York Times reported

Rats as big as rabbits terrify liverpool
7:40 PM · Aug 16, 2020·Twitter Web App

@Glitterbeard_
· 10h
How big do you think rabbits are twitter.com/nypost/status/…

oldgroaner@oldgroaner

After Brexit they'll make good eating :oops:
Especially if they get this big!


Feed a family for a week or more! :oops:
 
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oyster

Esteemed Pedelecer
Nov 7, 2017
10,422
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New York Times reported

Rats as big as rabbits terrify liverpool
7:40 PM · Aug 16, 2020·Twitter Web App

@Glitterbeard_
· 10h
How big do you think rabbits are twitter.com/nypost/status/…

oldgroaner@oldgroaner

After Brexit they'll make good eating :oops:
Especially if they get this big!


Feed a family for a week or more! :oops:
Shades of Diamond Dogs.
And ten thousand peoploids split into small tribes
Coveting the highest of the sterile skyscrapers
 
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Danidl

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Sep 29, 2016
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One of the few restaurants I'd really like to go to has decided not to take part because of that sort of issue.

Earlier, they opened for takeaways and had some very unpleasant experiences.

It has now started to be a nightmare on cheap as chips days at a large burger chain - people queuing round the roundabout in their cars waiting to get into the car park.
.. contrast that with a pleasant drive 15kms away ,to a coastal pub / restaurant .. winner of 2019 PubFood of the Year . Sitting in the open air on one of the sunniest days ...last Friday , and scoffing Very very fresh Fish and Chips. All interactions with staff both sides masked , then left to get on with it.
Drawbacks . .. You need to book or at least identify a time by App.
You can order directly on line at your table, so the only interaction with staff is when they bring it to the table .
 
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Danidl

Esteemed Pedelecer
Sep 29, 2016
8,611
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Ireland
New York Times reported

Rats as big as rabbits terrify liverpool
7:40 PM · Aug 16, 2020·Twitter Web App

@Glitterbeard_
· 10h
How big do you think rabbits are twitter.com/nypost/status/…

oldgroaner@oldgroaner

After Brexit they'll make good eating :oops:
Especially if they get this big!


Feed a family for a week or more! :oops:
Yes apparently the Normans cultivated mega rabbits for the pot. Saw these critters in a zoo in Brittany some years ago.
 

Barry Shittpeas

Esteemed Pedelecer
Jan 1, 2020
2,325
3,210
One of the few restaurants I'd really like to go to has decided not to take part because of that sort of issue.

Earlier, they opened for takeaways and had some very unpleasant experiences.

It has now started to be a nightmare on cheap as chips days at a large burger chain - people queuing round the roundabout in their cars waiting to get into the car park.
The bloke who owns a very well regarded Pub / restaurant near me has taken the same attitude. He told me, “he doesn’t want scum soiling his premises” on £10 off days :) That made me laugh, but I know exactly what he means. Sounds like Newquay pub owner has found out the hard way.
 

oldgroaner

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Nov 15, 2015
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Fascinating


My my! Naughty Boris! still a bad boy at school.
I loved the Head's claim that Eton students are more able than those from other schools, it would have been more truthful if he had said came from more financially well off and privileged homes.
 
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oyster

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Nov 7, 2017
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Is anyone even slightly surprised?
Definitely - a certain person with initials GW must be very surprised:
Exams regulator Ofqual has just announced that all A-levels and GCSEs in England will now be graded according to teacher assessment, just days after the education secretary, Gavin Williamson, promised “No U-turn, no change” despite an outcry from students, teachers and MPs.
 
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flecc

Member
Oct 25, 2006
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Definitely - a certain person with initials GW must be very surprised:
All concerned have said how sorry they are.

This is becoming such a habit that I think everything this government says should have a pre-attached apology for anything that's wrong with what they are saying and their sorrow for any upset caused.
.
 

oldgroaner

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Nov 15, 2015
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All concerned have said how sorry they are.

This is becoming such a habit that I think everything this government says should have a pre-attached apology for anything that's wrong with what they are saying and their sorrow for any upset caused.
.
Just add
"Caveat Emptor" at the end of every statement, or for Brexit Voters
"May contain nuts"
 

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