Vicious roadside attack on cyclist

[tgame]

Riding in a perfectly legal and gentle fashion along a quiet country road, and passing a pond, I was viciously attacked this morning by a savage goose which rushed at me and, whilst hissing invective, pecked my foot. This entirely unprovoked assault is yet another indication of the deplorable deterioration of the standard of living of law abiding citizens of this country. I have not even bothered to report it to the police knowing full well that they would do nothing to punish this disgraceful example of blatant hooliganism.

Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells.

 

[stokepa31]

It must be really posh where you live. A stray dog is the best I've ever managed!!! Was it wearing a hoodey?

 

[tgame]

Was it wearing a hoodey?

The creature wore no garment permitting of identification. In a properly run society it would of course be soundly thrashed and placed in irons.

 

[stokepa31]

Should that not be soundly plucked and placed in a roasting dish

 

[tgame]

Should that not be soundly plucked and placed in a roasting dish

Tunbridge.

11th inst.

Sir,
Permit me to tell you that I am exceedingly surprised you should treat this matter with levity. Had I not been stoutly shod and had it not been for the splendid acceleration of my trusty Agattu, who knows what injury I might not have sustained.

Others have spoken in conciliatory terms of mating and nesting habits but these have no validity. I had made no overtures of any sort to the female geese upon the pond, and although it is true that I had admired the spring plumage on some of the ducks, this could in no way be construed as provocative.

No sir, the incident was wholly outrageous and I look to this forum to express with me the utmost repugnance.

 

[richard]

Sir,
Please give a Google reference as to where this incident happened and I will personally send a SWAT team to have a gander

richard

 

[flecc]

In fact we could all flock there.
.

 

[richard]

nice to have chuckle, long may it continue

 

[tgame]

Tunbridge

I am heartened by the readiness which members have shown to flock round, have a gander, and show this unruly bird the roasting instruments. I had intended to write to the club secretary in the strongest terms, but now feel that a much needed lesson has been taught, and that we can all wend our leccy ways without fear that the very sparrows might chirp at us impudently.

 

[stokepa31]

Tunbridge

I am heartened by the readiness which members have shown to flock round, have a gander, and show this unruly bird the roasting instruments. I had intended to write to the club secretary in the strongest terms, but now feel that a much needed lesson has been taught, and that we can all wend our leccy ways without fear that the very sparrows might chirp at us impudently.

I did wonder whether said goose should be part of a flock or a gaggle. whilst undertaking research I have discovered some interesting facts

On the ground they may be a flock or a gaggle. In the air they may be a skein, team or wedge. whilst on water a plump and most importantly when attached to a cyclist a proper bunch of BA!$%RDS. Tis true it was a good job you were stoutly shod

 

[tgame]

In the air they may be a skein, team or wedge

Thank god it wasn't a team!