Around 20 years ago we were invited to a party about 4 miles from home on the far side of the valley where we live. The property we were visiting had a long drive and at such social gatherings the cars were parked nose to tail along the drive. I didn't fancy being trapped with 6 or 7 cars behind me so decided to go by bike.
The evening progressed and I consumed the largest part of a bottle of Highland Park. Despite this I felt fine, neither up nor down really, and when the time came to go home I put on my hi-viz suit, switched on my lights, and headed off thinking to myself "this is a piece of ****, nae bother tae the big man".
It was after a mile or so I began to feel a bit tired and in fact all I wanted was to lie down and sleep but I knew I couldn't that. I started down the hill into the valley and by this time the fresh air and exercise had taken their toll and I was now steaming drunk.
I remember trying to steer away from the verge but in that drunken way in which your body refuses the brain's instructions I drifted off the road and onto the verge. The front wheel went into a drainage grip and stopped. I of course continued travelling at my previous speed right over the handlebars and landed on my back.
Drink also distorts time, I lay there thinking that wasn't so bad, I don't think I've hurt anything, and that's when the bike landed on my face. I really don't know how long I lay there but I was aware of several cars going past, but nobody stopped.
I eventually pushed the bike off and tried to survey the damage in the pitch dark. I could feel a lot of blood around my face and I was now bloody sore as I started the long walk home pushing the bike.
Once in the light at home I could see the mess,there was blood down my front, I had 2 black eyes, facial cuts and bruising and I'd lost my glasses. As for the bike, the front wheel was goosed along with the front light and a few other bits and pieces.
What did I learn? If I'm on wheels that I'm in charge of then drink will not be taken.
wheeler