The following was 'doing the rounds' amongst bank staff of a well known High Street bank a couple of years ago. I have changed the name of the bank to protect the innocent but I suspect it is typical of how many staff see their masters in a 'global' company.
Once upon a time, the LIBOR Bank and the Japanese decided to have a competitive boat race on the River Thames. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese won by a mile.
Afterwards, the LIBOR Bank team became very discouraged by the loss and morale sagged. Senior Management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found and a project team was set up to investigate the problem and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering. The LIBOR Bank team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
Senior management immediately hired a consultancy company to do a study on the team’s structure. Millions of pounds and several months later they concluded that too many people were steering and not enough rowing.
To prevent losing to the Japanese the next year, the team structure was changed to four “Steering Managers”, three “Senior Steering Managers” and one “Executive Steering Manager”. A performance and appraisal system was set up to give the person rowing the boat more incentive to work harder and become a key performer.
“We must give him empowerment and enrichment. That ought to do it”
The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. The LIBOR Bank laid off the rower for poor performance, sold off all the paddles, cancelled all capital investment for new equipment, and halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consultants and distributed the money saved to Senior Management.
Once upon a time, the LIBOR Bank and the Japanese decided to have a competitive boat race on the River Thames. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese won by a mile.
Afterwards, the LIBOR Bank team became very discouraged by the loss and morale sagged. Senior Management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found and a project team was set up to investigate the problem and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering. The LIBOR Bank team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
Senior management immediately hired a consultancy company to do a study on the team’s structure. Millions of pounds and several months later they concluded that too many people were steering and not enough rowing.
To prevent losing to the Japanese the next year, the team structure was changed to four “Steering Managers”, three “Senior Steering Managers” and one “Executive Steering Manager”. A performance and appraisal system was set up to give the person rowing the boat more incentive to work harder and become a key performer.
“We must give him empowerment and enrichment. That ought to do it”
The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. The LIBOR Bank laid off the rower for poor performance, sold off all the paddles, cancelled all capital investment for new equipment, and halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consultants and distributed the money saved to Senior Management.
... and yes, I was a consultant for LIBOR Bank!