Brexit, for once some facts.
- Thread starter flecc
- Start date
Smiles or groans?
The top 10 cracker jokes
1. What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.
2. Did you hear that production was down at Santa’s workshop? Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!
3. Why didn’t Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.
4. Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.
5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the “Arrrr!” rate had risen.
6. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, it’s behind you.
7. Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.
8. Why can’t Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn’t know how many tiers it should have.
9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.
10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.
And the USA has reached Safe Harbour day.
The top 10 cracker jokes
1. What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.
2. Did you hear that production was down at Santa’s workshop? Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!
3. Why didn’t Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.
4. Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.
5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the “Arrrr!” rate had risen.
6. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, it’s behind you.
7. Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.
8. Why can’t Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn’t know how many tiers it should have.
9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.
10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.
And the USA has reached Safe Harbour day.
Every additional case is its own disaster.
At least I will have been wearing a mask when out in public and fervently hope I won't have passed it on.
At the risk of being accused of repetition, the easiest deal....
Brexit: Boris Johnson warns securing deal is 'looking very, very difficult'
PM says he wants an agreement but people need to be ready for changes on 1 January
Boris Johnson has warned that securing a deal at an imminent Brexit summit in Brussels will be “very difficult” but backed “the power of sweet reason to get this thing over the line”.
"Sweet reason"? What sort of utter idiot do we have as PM?
Brexit: Boris Johnson warns securing deal is 'looking very, very difficult'
PM says he wants an agreement but people need to be ready for changes on 1 January
Boris Johnson has warned that securing a deal at an imminent Brexit summit in Brussels will be “very difficult” but backed “the power of sweet reason to get this thing over the line”.
"Sweet reason"? What sort of utter idiot do we have as PM?
As I've posted many times over the last four years, of course there will be a deal.
All this posturing and play acting on both sides is to convince the British on the one hand that they've got a good deal, while convincing the other 27 members that leaving the EU will leave them worse off.
A very difficult act, the lies are easy, the convincing not so.
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Fascinating that you're so interested in Top of the Pops style followings as a validation of what you're trying to promote here - whatever it's still very much an extreme minority and I'm sure it helps you feel less lonely knowing there are other like minded folk lurking in the darker recesses of the internet.
Far right / alt right seems a fair description of their views - How would you you characterise EDL?? would you prefer it if I called them 'nasty bits of work'?
Will we keep our fish? All of a sudden, everyone wants a career on a factory ship, gutting fish. It’s very important.
Is that a whiting? Certainly something unattractive like a snail...
“Will you walk a little faster?” said a whiting to a snail.
“There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle — will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?
“You can really have no notion how delightful it will be,
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!”
But the snail replied “Too far, too far!” and gave a look askance—
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.
“What matters it how far we go?” his scaly friend replied.
“There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to France—
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?”
The daftest thing of all is that we don't want our fish, we don't eat most of what's caught in our waters so we have to flog it to the mainland Europeans who do eat it. We just dont want them to do the catching!
We eat fish like cod that's caught off places like Iceland, but the Icelanders dont want us to catch it!
One thing is certain, we will never be threatened by alien invaders from another planet. One look at how the human race behaves and they'll give up and go home.
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If we are ever invaded by aliens it will make the covid scenario look like a broken finger nail.
We'll be washing our hands while singing " Nearer my God to thee.."
We'll be washing our hands while singing " Nearer my God to thee.."
Government is to withdraw controversial clauses in the internal markets bill.
Brexit: UK and EU reach deal on Northern Ireland border checks - BBC News
Brexit: UK and EU reach deal on Northern Ireland border checks - BBC News
Here’s one that doesn’t, you should try it sometime like I have. Incidentally on the 1st of January Any fish attempting to leave British waters
Will be shot on sight
Just heard that Boris has caved in over Northern Ireland there will be a border, and the vegetables in the House of Commons won’t vote to break the law